I cried for a good day or two after we broke up. I never thought break-ups could be that bad coz my first break-up was not nearly as bad. Bear had told me never to contact him again but I wasn't about to give up just yet. I remember that website he gave me before, I knew he'll be there posting or lurking but either way, I knew he'll see my message. I went to planet-love.com and posted for the first time with the name "foolish girl." I didn't tell them who I was but I told them this guy (no name) broke up with me and I can't remember the rest. Unfortunately, planet-love only kept archives of the posts created since 2001 so we'll never know what I've said. Bear replied under my post saying that "this guy" was so stupid for breaking up with such a sweet girl as myself; to which I replied with "please do not call my guy stupid." I kept on posting messages of how I missed him so much and posted the lyrics to the song "As I Lay Me Down" by Sophie Hawkins. Bear had told me about this song and I've sang it to him a few times before; the words just seemed to fit how I felt at the time. I had no doubt he knew exactly who "foolish girl" was but if he thought his decision was stupid why did he let me go?
Three days later, yup just three days! I know it sounded like such a long time but three days later, Bear came back to chat with me on mIRC. I remember my heart jumped for joy! I wondered why he came back online but I was extremely happy. For the past month, we had been chatting exclusively; yes there is a way to find out if you were chatting with a bunch of people on that program and we both know how to do it. Anyway, Bear apologized for breaking up with me and told me all about the legal battle and stuff. He said something about me waiting for seven years, I told him I didn't mind waiting for 7yrs, I was only 20 and I had initially planned on getting married at 28 so 7yrs wouldn't have been a big deal to me but he thought it wasn't right to keep me waiting that long so he basically had to let go of the legal battle in my favor. At the time, I really had no clue how much he was giving up for me because all I cared about was that he was back in my life!
The next month, Bear decided to buy me a cellphone because his phone bills from my collect calls skyrocketed. I didn't want to accept any amount of money from him; my dad had told me when I received that package on my birthday that I should be careful because Bear might ask me to do something that I won't be able to refuse. I think my dad was thinking along the lines of censored stuff but he really didn't explain it well. I told Bear about that so he then told me to buy the cellphone for him and asked me to take care of it until he got there, to which I agreed. As soon as I got it, Bear and I talked on the phone regularly. He was my alarm clock for months! He'd wake me up in the mornings, ah what better way to get up in the morning and on weekends we would talk on the phone all night long for me and about half of his day here in Houston. I remember my dad got mad once or twice or maybe more coz he could hear me talking from the other room and he couldn't sleep. My dad would say, "tell that guy it's the middle of the night, I need some sleep!" Ah my poor dad, I'd just laugh and not tell Bear anyway, haha! After that, I became more considerate and learned how to whisper!
The phone calls in addition to the long chats and emails we've had helped us to get to know each other really well. However, we constantly got tested that at one point I was wondering if we were really meant to be together or not. That's where all the prayers and fasting came in. I knew in my heart that I love Bear because of what I felt when he broke up with me. I've never felt that way from any man I've met before. So, I've prayed about it. Some girls had told me in the past about a story where one girl asked God for a sign that this man was the right one for her; she had asked for a white rose and blah blah he gave her a white rose and they lived happily ever after--you get the picture. Anyway, here comes Marissa who thought that would be interesting to try on. I asked for a sign that if Art was the one, I would see flowers. I've never received flowers before and I don't think Bear would send me flowers because there was no occasion for it but whatever, if he's the one, Heavenly Father would find a way. One morning, I got on a jeepney to go to school and what do I see? Flowers of course! Not for me though but there's this kid and his mom with buckets of flowers inside the jeepney. I think they were on their way to the market to sell the flowers. I knew that was my answer because I remembered what I asked Heavenly Father when I saw the flowers but I didn't stop there because I thought it could have been just coincidence. So on another occasion, I remember there was a blackout in the area where my family lived but my cellphone was fully charged so I prayed that night that if Art was really the one for me, that he would call me right then. I can't remember what I was thinking at the time because it wasn't Saturday night. Bear only called me late at night on Saturdays coz he stays home half of the day. I guess you could say I didn't make it easy for Heavenly Father but what do I know? A few minutes later the phone rang, my heart was beating so hard, I was extremely shocked! It's not that I didn't have faith but the fact that I was afraid the answer might not be what I wanted. When I answered the phone, I was just so happy and excited I asked him if I can sing him a song. "Do you know you just answered a prayer?," Bear asked and I thought man that's really corny. I thought it was just one of those famous pick up lines I heard on tv. To be honest, I didn't believe him until after we were already married and that's when I told him about my prayer as well.
To this day, I have no doubt I was meant to be his wife and he was meant to be my man.
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